The way you respond to someone experiencing domestic or emotional abuse is very important and it can make a real difference in their lives…….
There are a few practical things that you can do to support the person physically and emotionally:
- Do not judge them at all
- Show some concern about the situation and encourage them to open up with time.
- Always talk to them in private
- Ensure your response supports and encourages them to talk about the situation. It could create an opportunity for them to explore their options and in time make their decisions.
- Always be there for them even if they give excuses, reject your support, become defensive and deny there is a problem.
- It’s extremely important you listen and believe what you are told because it helps to build an ongoing relationship based on trust
- Reassure them that the abuse isn’t their fault. Violence is a choice the abuser makes and they(the abusers) are solely responsible for their abusive behaviour.
- Do not assume it isn’t that serious
- Do not tell anyone to leave or criticise them for staying in the relationship.
- Allow them make the decision of leaving in their own time because it involves both emotional and practical considerations
- Offer to go with them to the hospital or GP if they’ve received any injuries or require medical attention.
- As much as possible do not panic but be very sensitive, caring, cautious and respectful.
- Focus on helping them rebuild their self confidence
- Be patient. – Leaving an abusive partner is a process.
- Do not mediate or be the contact person between them and the perpetrator
- Volunteer to keep copies of their important documents or items
- Remember to take things easy and look after yourself while supporting someone through such a difficult time
- Acknowledge that it takes strength to trust someone enough to talk to them about experiencing abuse
- Acknowledge that it could be a frightening and very difficult situation
- Assure them of the fact that they are not alone and there is help available to them.
- Encourage them to speak to specialist support organisations
SPECIALIST SUPPORT HELPLINES
The National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 08082000247
The Men’s Advice Helpline – 08088010327
The National LGBT Helpline – 03009995428
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